But instead be kind and affectionate toward one another. Has God graciously forgiven you? Then graciously forgive one another in the depths of Christ’s love.
Ephesians 4:32 (TPT)
Relinquish, Reconcile, Repeat
Forgiveness is a tricky thing. I have learned that forgiveness is actually a process. It is something we must learn and for many of us, we must relearn the steps to this part of the dance. Patience, persistence and practice is key similar to learning the steps to the waltz or the tango. Some parts of it come easily. Some parts are more difficult. I invite you to be patient with yourself as you learn to dance with Jesus through the steps of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not a feeling, it is a choice. What if I don’t feel like forgiving? God says, forgive anyway. Withholding forgiveness is one thing that can separate us from God Himself. I do not want to be disconnected from God. I do not want to choose to be apart from His love and grace or be disobedient by not forgiving.
“And when you pray, make sure you forgive the faults of others so that your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you withhold forgiveness from others, your Father withholds forgiveness from you.”
Matthew 6:14-15 (TPT)
But what about those things in life that so grieve our hearts that we just cannot forgive? What if someone hurts us in a way that is wholly unrighteous? Wouldn’t forgiving them make what they did okay? God says He will deal with the offender, but for us to forgive. Our lack of forgiveness leaves us out of step with our dance partner, the King.
I continue to practice the dance of forgiveness. Completely in awe of what God does through this process, I am experiencing true forgiveness for hurts that I have held onto for years.
Steps of Forgiveness
He is asking me to forgive those who persecute me so that I stay focused and dependent on Him. Choosing to say the words “I forgive” even if my heart (and especially if my heart) does not feel it. I whisper the words to Jesus: “I choose to forgive.” By choosing to do this, I choose to trust Jesus. I release the person into God’s hands and release the hurt from my heart. Often, it is a continuous practice of release. You can almost here the beat the dance of forgiveness breaking the bondage of our hearts as we choose to practice… one, two, three, one, two, three…
- I am choosing to allow God to deal with them and that allows me to have all that time and headspace back!
2. I choose to let go of all the hurt, anger, time I spend thinking about that person, and offense.
3. I choose to re-focus on what God has for me, His good and perfect gifts that He desires to give in abundance.
If I choose not to release my offender or let go of the unforgiveness I am holding onto, I will not have the open hands or heart to receive the good gift that God wants to give me. You see, it’s an exchange. I give Him my hurt so that I can receive His gift. Unforgiveness makes us stumble in the dance of love Jesus has for us.
Unforgiveness makes us stumble in the dance of love Jesus has for us.
Practicing the Dance Steps of Forgiveness
Think about areas in your own life where letting go will help you begin to forgive. Are you able to trust God to deal with those you need to release? Why or why not? Be honest here…do not let the “the right response” trump your heart response. It is ok to admit if this is a struggle (He already knows anyway!)
Ask God to help you forgive the offender in your life and trust Him more as He fights for you. He will pull you in to protect your heart while you learn to let go and glide across life with grace. God desires to comfort you and love you well. I encourage you to say a prayer to God now thanking Him for this comfort and for taking on this burden so that you are able to receive His blessings for you.
We would love for you to connect with us! Have questions, comments or want to dive deeper into the dance with us? Connect with us on Facebook. Be sure to check out this week’s song Dance With Me by Jesus Culture and Chris Quilala.
